Being single in your mid 30’s can be a weird place to be especially when you are a woman. Growing up you watch all the romantic movies or TV shows where you see people falling in love, getting married having a family most of the time before everything happened before or in their early 30’s range. Well, real life isn’t that easy or even simple or happens so smoothly. Within this whole post, I am truly just talking from my perspective and how I have decided to go about things.

Sometimes that ticking clock or the stress of the timeline you get into your head when you are growing up can not only be scary but depressing once you hit your 30s and start to feel like you have fallen behind the pack. It’s never fun to look around see all your friends getting married, having babies, and then there you are not hitting any of those milestones. I know for myself; I’ve had a moment of anxiety or even just feeling like I’ve failed. Now do not get me wrong I am so happy for my friends who have found their person and have fallen in love with their little ones.

This last year, I have accepted that I need to let go of that timeline and accept maybe marriage and kids are not in the cards for me. This isn’t a “feel bad for me” kind of mindset but a calm acceptance of a changed timeframe.  It is a learning of being content being single.  This does not mean that content means “always happy” – I am not always happy being single, but I am content.  Being content is a way better place to be in then being miserable and sad. When I say content there is a sense of peace for me that comes with the word.

I am determined to not be that single girl who becomes bitter or not happy for others, I celebrate all of my friend’s milestones and happiness. I realized the healthiest way for me to be ok with where my life currently is, was by letting go of what I view now as pipe dreams. Could they come about, could I find someone? Absolutely, that can happen and honestly, I hope I do find the “right guy for me” someday, but I do not want to get that feeling of fear that I need to just get with the next man who decides they want to be with me because there is always a chance they may not be the right one or even a healthy relationship.

Learning to be content with my current life hasn’t been an easy journey it’s been one that’s sucked at times but then every stage in life has sucked at one time or another. Right now, I feel lighter, I am enjoying just living my life, allowing myself to grow, being by myself, and finding the joy of being in my own skin. They say you can’t find love till you love yourself, but I guess the first step is to enjoy the alone time. Do I love my current single life completely no not really but I enjoy who I currently am and who I am becoming so if that means being single is part of that process that works for me. I do enjoy being single at times, no one ever fully happy being single I do not think but if you can find the joy in it then you are doing something right. I have zero desire to try to date, maybe part of that is a fear of not wanting to get hurt or afraid to trust, but another part of that is just being ok in my skin by myself.

I will tell you one of the worst things I hate hearing, “you’ll find someone when you least expect it” it’s such a fluff statement to me. It’s something people say when they do not know what else to say and want you to “feel better” about being single and I feel it gets thrown at you way more once you hit that 30 marks and you are alone with no sign of a ring or a future with someone. I do not need fluff statements; I do not need to be made to feel better. If I find a guy and something happens, I am completely open to it, but I’m not going to sit here and wish on a star of hope for Mr. Right to come along.

I am not sad; I am not depressed I do not feel a sense of poor me, I actually feel empowered now, a sense of pride for being able to get to this place. My own perspective is that for me at least this is a positive, healthy mindset and sometimes you just can’t figure out how to get to that healthy place until you let go of those hopes and dreams you may be stressing over. At least this was the case for me, this is what I needed to do to get to this content place in my life. I would much rather be single, and content than be single and crying thinking of the timeline that isn’t there at this current moment in time. The how I’m falling behind the mark or I need to catch up to my friend’s lives is gone from my mind. I felt like this at one point and it did suck for me it wasn’t the place or mindset I even wanted. Now do not get me wrong I am not in this place of “I am never getting married”, “I am swearing off men” no that is not the thoughts in my head or my goals. Would I love to get married be happy with a guy and feel loved absolutely, and if it happens, I will be thrilled but sometimes you have to be realistic that it may not, and it’s ok. Who knows where my path will take me but ill allowing time to do its thing and see where I go from here?

In the mid-30s and being single is an interesting place to be and I’m content in my interesting place and where the journey will take me.